We opted against network TV in our house, which means we go online for local news and weather. We always know when we need to check the weather channel: our kids reach new levels of crazy when the barometer drops. Anxiety rises and coping skills decrease as the storm gets closer. Here are some tips and tricks we've developed to help us weather the storms.
1. Plan for it. Make lists in advance and keep necessary things on hand. If your area is prone to hurricanes, tornadoes, or other weather that would require shelter in place or evacuation, make sure you are prepared. Get your kids involved in the prep work, and whenever possible do practice runs--you do NOT want the first time your child is in the basement or storm shelter to be during a storm. Even if they don't or can't show it, most ASD kids are very empathic, and will pick up on your stress level. If they have been in the shelter during a 'practice run' when you were calm and organized, they'll be more accepting of it during a storm when you are worried and frazzled.
2. Have storm bags. This is going to vary from one family to another--if you are in a hurricane prone area, then you will have go bags packed. If you are in an area more like mine, where evacuation isn't an issue but we will occasionally be stuck at home, then storm bags will consist more of sanity savers than necessities. (More detailed information on storm bags HERE and on Ready.gov)
3. Charge everything. Ipads, cell phones, rechargeable flashlights. If it takes a charge and a storm is coming, charge it.
4. Recognize storm behaviors. It is SO much easier to deal with an annoying stim if you know what triggered it. If your child has good receptive language, it also helps them for you to put a name to what they're feeling "You seem really upset. I think it's because there's a storm moving in--it makes me feel strange, too" It's important to recognize your own storm behaviors as well--I tend to get migraines or tension headaches when a storm is moving in, which can make me snappish. Being aware of my own behaviors allows me to control them and to sympathize with my boys when their behaviors worsen.
5. Keep them informed. So many times we think we're protecting our children by not telling them things, but for most children this just increases their anxiety. Sit with your children and tell them what's happening. "There is a storm right now. Here, let's look at it on the radar. See, we're here, the storm is coming this way, and the weatherman says it should be over before morning" Keep information calm, age-appropriate, and as not frightening as possible. Answer their questions honestly but reassuringly--"you know, I'm not sure how long it's going to last or how much damage it might do, but we will be safe here in the storm cellar until it passes." or "well, if the storm worsens, then we will get the go-bags you helped me pack last week and drive to the elementary school." Be prepared for questions that seem completely ridiculous to you but will be very serious for your child, such as explaining what will happen to the baby birds nesting in the tree in the yard. If your child is unable to communicate, then do your best to reassure them on the level they understand.
6. Make storm parties a family tradition. We try to keep a few 'emergency items' on hand for storms or other setbacks--a new game or toy, a favorite snack or candy, art supplies, books, even a toy for the family pet will sometimes distract a child just enough to avoid a meltdown. Do family activities (such as board games or reading books). If you are sheltering in place, then turn it into a camp out. If you have to evacuate, treat it as much as possible like a vacation. Take pictures of your family together doing those things to use for future storms.
7. Know your child's triggers and plan for them. One of ours will lose it if they see the trees tossed in the wind--if a storm is coming, we close the curtains. Another has very sensitive hearing; we keep a pair of sound cancelling headphones on hand and plop them on his head with a favorite video if we know there's going to be thunder. We have insulated our home to help dampen sounds, and we tend to choose the most insulated room to gather in during a storm. One of ours gets most upset when things don't work--if he flips a light switch and the light doesn't come on, his world ends :P We are working on a whole-house generator system to help combat this, and in the mean time we have crank and battery operated lanterns for him.
8. Consider safety issues in advance. We have a handful of emergency candles, but due to our fears of fire those are for dire emergency--our basic backup is battery powered and crank-powered lanterns and radios. Many people in our area use fireplaces or even kerosene heaters for backup heat during storms, but we feel that this is not safe with our boys. We have insulated our home so that it retains heat very well--for most of our winter, we could lose power and the house still be warm for 12-24 hours. If there was a severe cold snap, though, we would have to go elsewhere if we lost heat. If you have a wanderer and tend to depend on an electric security system, find out if it has a battery backup and plan other means of security if necessary.
9. Reassure them that the storm WILL pass. Tell stories of past storms, show them the pictures I mentioned taking of your family having fund during past storms. Reassuring a child on the spectrum that this has happened before and they got through it often calms their fears.
10. Keep your own anxieties in check. Children pick up on so much more than we realize. If you treat the storm as a fun break in routine, they will be more likely to do the same.
11. Get through it, at any cost. The only way your child will sleep during a storm is in your bed or the family room? Then do that. The only foods they will eat are chocolate chip cookies? One night won't kill them. Your almost-verbal child regresses to grunts and moans? Calmly reassure them that all will be well, but don't push them back to talking until the storm has passed. Meet them on whatever level they are at that moment. And if, despite all of your best efforts, your child completely melts down, then let them. Reassure them as best you can, keep them as safe as possible, and let them experience their emotions as they can. And remind yourself, as you've already reminded them, that this, too, will pass.
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