Hello World

It occurs to me that I should stop assuming anyone who reads this blog already knows us. It is time to introduce ourselves.

Hello there :D

My husband and I met in college, where we discovered a love of theatre and each other.   Both intelligent over achievers, we knew what our lives would look like the moment we said I do:  careers, children, and theatre.   We would both have to work hard to give our children what they needed, because both of us tended to bury ourselves in projects to the exclusion and detriment of those we love.   It wasn't so much that we dreamed of our 'perfect children' as we assumed what they would be like--a combination of my sass and daddy's rationality, our two children (one boy, one girl) would find academics boringly easy and social interactions with their peers tedious.   We would expose them to theatre early in the hopes that they could find 'their tribe' long before we did.

Everything was right on track with our oldest.   Our perfect golden child.   He was more alert than we expected.  His obsession with light (his first word) was more endearing than worrisome, and no one even mentioned to us that the conversations he could have while other children his age were just starting to string sentences together could be a warning sign.   We reveled in our beautiful boy, and planned the right time for our perfect girl.

Our perfect girl was twin boys, born just under two months before their brother turned 3.   They were dramatic from the very beginning, with feeding and weight gain issues as well as difficulty sleeping.   As soon as they started to gain weight, we began asking questions.   Repeatedly, we were reassured that we were worrying for nothing--they were sleeping a normal amount, we were just tired parents.   Yes, one twin was turning blue on occasion, but every test under the sun had been run and all were negative, so perhaps it was just a quirkiness of his circulatory system.   And the fact that my five month old, who I had held and rocked and nursed, had never met my eyes was . . . well, that one was never really explained, I was just reassured that all was well.

By the time they were three, we knew all was not well.   No longer were we being told 'you can't compare their speech to the oldest--his speech was advanced'.   Now others were agreeing there was a concern.   In addition, the oldest had had a horrible time in preschool and was not doing much better in kindergarten--he was detached from others, acting out (behaviors we now know were stimming) and generally unable to fit into the kindergarten classroom.   We worked with the school for six months and when they failed to help us, we saw specialists.   And that was when we finally got answers:

Our oldest child has Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD
One twin has PDD-NOS (and later diagnosed with vision problems)
The other twin has classic autism and ADHD

Our world was turned upside down, but it also righted.   For the first time, someone was saying 'there's something going on here'.   Before long, we were blessed to find the second part of that sentence:  People who said 'and we can help you'.

Our twins will be seven soon, and they were three when they were diagnosed.  We have since worked with the school to create an education tailored to each kid's needs.  We have developed a relationship with a WONDERFUL therapy center where we have gotten occupational, physical, and speech therapies, as well as consultations with a child psychologist on social skills and anxiety.   We have done vision therapy at another center.  And we have built a network of support that simultaneously makes me proud and humbles me.  So many people have come together to help our boys and they are thriving.  

So, this is our story.   This is our story of what worked and what didn't, what we needed and what we didn't.   This is the story of college sweethearts who met, fell in love, married, had children, and then finally grew up.   This is the story of two people who were honored to be allowed to share the journey of three amazing children.  

This is the story of us.  

Thank you for joining us on our journey.